It's been a rough few months for our little community. "Hard providence" would be a pretty apt description, I think, for the joys and the frustrations and the sorrows all taking place all at once. As a woman it can be especially difficult since 1) we are more emotional by nature and 2) struggles, it seems, are experienced on a slightly different level as we manage the household- while this is not a chore, per se, it can be a little overwhelming when you feel you are being pulled a thousand different directions. It is hard not to wonder sometimes, "where is God in all of this?" "what is He doing in my life?" "why me???"
Why NOT me.
Why would He not send me trials that make my faith stronger? Why would He not deal me struggles that force me to learn how to pray, to really pray? Why would He not give me opportunities to extend to other people the grace He has extended to me? Why would He not push me to my limit and break, no, totally shatter me to rebuild me in the image of Christ?
We are fools if we think that faith is easy and God is undemanding. We are fools if we think we will not be tested. We are fools if we think we can simply "give up" and not be held accountable…
And we are fools if we think He does not love us.
There comes a sort of relief in brokenness, relief in the knowledge that we can't fix everything. Only God can do that. It doesn't mean that He expects us to stop being faithful with regards to whatever He has called us to do or be for the moment, but it means that we have His help when the trials do come, and that we are able to find peace and joy that comes with knowing He is here and He hears our prayers.
Why NOT me. Why NOT you.